Our house used to be very open, rarely was there a closed door unless someone was having sex or talking. While we are not nudists, often people would walk around the house naked, or semi clothed. We also all used to hang out in the living room together. Things are much different now. Most of [...]
Archive for December, 2008
Closed doors and stuff
Posted in Uncategorized on December 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Every little thing I do
Posted in Uncategorized on December 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
So, CC has an away message up today “Every Little Thing I Do”. I googled it, it’s a song title. The lyrics are “every little thing I do, you’re on my mind, the way I feel lately, it’s driving me crazy” As much as I hate hearing things like that, it’s [...]
The Dance
Posted in Uncategorized on December 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
CC had a quote on her messenger a while back, from Garth Brooks “I could have missed the pain, but then I’d have had to miss the dance” In response, I changed mine to “I’d have rather missed the dance” She asked me about it later, and I explained that has never been my philosophy, [...]
Wrong
Posted in Uncategorized on December 27, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
This still feels all wrong to me. I suppose it’s just going to take a while to get used to it. This is not how we were suppose to end up. When I think back to a year ago at Christmas and remember how things were. Amazing what a difference a year can make. I [...]
Look Away
Posted in Uncategorized on December 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Well, that didn’t take long, I was barely home a minute before I had to leave the room because I was starting to cry. It is so incredibly hard to be here at the moment. I recognize that financially this is the best, possibly only, option right now, but it is very difficult for me. [...]
She doesn’t want to be with me
Posted in Uncategorized on December 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
“She doesn’t want to be with me”
“She doesn’t love me as much as she thought”
“I am not the right partner for her”
“She wants to be with someone else”
“She will always love me, but not enough to stay with me”
“She knows I am not the right person for her”
According to the book I’m currently reading, those [...]
Missing her
Posted in Uncategorized on December 21, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Definitely missing CC today. The distance is night, I’m definitely sad less often, but we did Christmas today, and it just seemed completely wrong without her here. I suppose it will get easier over time.
I picked up Bridget yesterday from the airport, and we stayed in Vegas last night. We had a good conversation about [...]
Sitting in Vegas
Posted in Uncategorized on December 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
well, here I sit in Vegas, waiting for Bridget to arrive. I actually slept pretty well last night, although I still woke up around 6:30 and had to get up to occupy my mind. I had a good talk with mom this morning, mostly me explaining poly, but some of it was her telling me [...]
Dependent
Posted in Uncategorized on December 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I never realized just how much I had come to depend on CC until my most recent trips. Managing kids and all the myriad of things that goes along with it is a lot to do by myself. CC did still help a little bit with the packing, although from what I understand, she resented [...]
Setting expectations
Posted in Uncategorized on December 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Just a thought I had, CC claims to be telling Jessie that she doesn’t want to advance thier relationship, and not setting expectations. If that is her intent, she isn’t doing a very good job. I know exactly what Bridgets reaction would be if I sent that email to her, she would have hopes through [...]
