I never realized just how much I had come to depend on CC until my most recent trips. Managing kids and all the myriad of things that goes along with it is a lot to do by myself. CC did still help a little bit with the packing, although from what I understand, she resented the burden being on her. I think in the past I did a decent job of sharing the responsibility of the kids with her, I’mnot positive though. She did however take on all the meals and much of the packing and prep work. I wonder if she’ll miss that, I used to think she enjoyed that type of service, preparing a meal for someone and taking care of them. I suppose maybe she’ll get it from Jessie in a different way. Anyway, back on track, these last two trips have made me painfully (literally) aware of how much I have come to depend on others. In a lot of ways I don’t like that, because them I’m less capable and prepared to take care of those things if they aren’t around. I’m trying to completely pull back my dependence on CC, which even now is strikingly high. One thing I didn’t realize was how much of my social life was through her, T’s birthday party drove that home, that I’m no longer invited to the events that she is. Now without real estate that leaves me with a pretty small social life. Another thing to work on. My goal now is to not ask for her help on anything.
Which brings up the question of dependence on Bridget, both ways. One of the reasons I wanted CC involved in the finances was so that she would know how to handle it if something ever happened to me. I still think that is a valid concern, so I need to find a way to keep Bridget involved in everything, but I need to find a way to keep myself involved in everything too. There are too many things now that I know nothing about how to do and that is highly annoying.
