Last night Bridget said she wish I would let go of my pride and just ask CC to stay, express to her that I still want her here. So tonight I sat down and I tried to do that, I tried to write down exactly what it was I wanted from her and ask for it. I ran in to a bit of a problem. I really don’t know what, if anything, I want from the new and improved CC. Every time I try to talk to her about something, I feel like my voice doesn’t get heard at all. Her actions show her only thinking about herself, without even giving Bridget and I to benefit of common courtesy. Take away that and what is left? Sex? Is that really all I want from her, to be the occasional dominant partner that she needs? I do have a strong desire to be that for her, but I think that is out of a fear of being replaced. I know that eventually she is going to find a partner to fulfill those needs, and that will be the last little piece of me lost. As much as I’d like to stay together for the kids, if the last few months is any indication, this isn’t a healthy environment for them. So what is it I want from her? What is it I should ask for?
