Life without kids

I have to admit, there are some things that I’ve been looking forward to as part of C moving out.   Having time with just Bridget was pretty high on the list.  But I realize, it isn’t that I don’t want C here, it’s that I enjoy time without the kids.  It occurs to me this is another one of those things that you have to watch out for with poly.   It’s relatively easy to maintain fire and passion in a relationship if your going once a week to spend time with someone.   You know exactly what you are going there for, and it’s like a mini vacation, no kids, no distractions.  Then you come home, kids, distractions, bills, stress.  It’s pretty easy to think that other relationship is the better one, I would think.

I’ve always liked the idea of maintaining a separate apartment, that is for the live in couple to get that time away from the family, and the distractions.  It also makes it easier to enjoy the time that you do have with them.   Perhaps had I been able to follow through on that, things would have turned out differently.  A part of me has been tempted to just let the kids stay with C and Jessie full time, so they can see what it’s like.  But I want too much to be a part of thier life to do that.

I had an interview two weeks ago, and I was talking about leaving the tech industry to pursue real estate, and the interviewer asked me if I regretted that decision.  I almost broke down.  Professionally, I don’t regret the decision, I have learned a lot and grown a lot over the last 3 years.  I do however think it cost me my marriage.  If I had it to do over again, I’d have stayed at Sun.