It’s amazing how fragile my psyche is right now. I already wrote about how I feel seeing her, well, tonight she messaged me saying “don’t have time right now, but…” and it just crushed me, I mean, I know that means she is going out. Could be dinner, could be more, but of course my mind always envisious the worst. Now I’ve been grumpy and near breaking down all night. It’s funny, the thought of her with Jessie didn’t really bother me that much, it does a little, probably because I don’t really see him as a guy in the usual sense. The thought of her with someone else, bothers me a lot, because I know if she develops a relationship with someone else, it will be filling in the gaps that she is missing, filling in for me.
Every once in a while as I’m driving home, or laying in bed, it hits me that she won’t be there, ever.
