Comments for Stumbling Down the Path

Comment on Hard to hate her by Aira Isane

Aira Isane — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 07:51:17 +0000

it’s almost an irritating feeling, isn’t it? I don’t know your situation but I can relate. (though I hate it when people say “I know exactly how you feel”). It’s hard to hate someone that’s nice or trying to make things better for everyone. But at the same time you so badly want to blame him/her just so you can pin point it at someone.

Comment on 2 am by 4persephone

4persephone — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 13:53:23 +0000

I don’t know if you know this, but love and attachment are not just emotional but CHEMICAL processes. If you check out neuroscience you will find that certain chemicals are produced in the brain as a result of both sexual attraction and emotional attachment when we bond with other people, and when a relationship ends most people not only have to go through a stage of mourning, but also a withdrawl of types from what amounts to mother-nature’s version of hormonal addiction. It majorally sucks because not only do we suffer the loss of our hopes and the like, but our bodies are constantly reaching for the comfort-chemicals only to not receive them, which heightens the craving for them even more.

I am sorry that life is causing you so much pain at present. I have never lost a relationship that deep that lasted that long but I did have to give up on love myself at one point, and in the end distance for a time was what helped me turn the corner. I moved out of country for six months. (Not exactly an option for your with your munchkins, but you may want to take steps to have no contact or as little as humanly possible for a few months – think of it like you’re trying to break a cigarette or alcohol addiction – of course you crave with the pack on the table for you to constantly look at…)

Another trick you can try…it is easier to give up one habit while replacing it with another. Find a subject or hobby that has always interested you, and explore it more deeply…or throw your emotional energy into work or exercise…

Comment on Life without kids by kannakat

kannakat — Mon, 25 May 2009 21:57:26 +0000

It’s good to see you back on blog. I had missed your articulate comments on a complicated family situation. There’s nothing an outsider can say that would help: but sympathy available anyway. – kannakat

Comment on Windows and Blogs by el tercer ojo

el tercer ojo — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 21:04:48 +0000

Windows, Prisms and Lenses…

Thinking about blogging and being on-line, much as I haven’t been lately, I wrote in response to something stumblingtaoest wrote about being judged on what he and his partner have been writing recently in their blogs as part of their……

Comment on Windows and Blogs by Mija

Mija — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 20:24:22 +0000

I understand the point you’re making and try and bear it in mind where ever I read. There’s a tendency, especially via medium like a blog, to believe we know a person just from having read their daily writings. But even if they’re writing their “true” self, it’s at best only true for that moment.

P and I have experienced the mirror of what you and Bridget have — neither one of us writes very much about problems our relationship has had over the course of it’s 12 years. And yet there have been problems it’s just we’re both quite introverted and when unhappy retreat into our own heads. But because the problems haven’t been written down though, they don’t exist online and we’re seen sometimes as having a frighteningly idealized existance and relationship. That’s a lot of pressure.

Comment on About by The Rambling Taoist

The Rambling Taoist — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 20:02:00 +0000

I’m always on the lookout for Taoist blogs to add to my links. However, to be quite candid, I don’t know what to make of your blog.

Comment on Confused by sammy

sammy — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 18:03:43 +0000

You dont know me and as a result first let me apologise for intruding on your blog. I stumbled on it and found it quite heart wrenching to read. Some of the things your writing about really ring home with what i’ve been through. I broke up with my fiancee of 12 years…well we were best friends at high school and just evolved into a relationship after school ended. We knew everything about one another did everything together, then 3 years ago it all fell apart, we split up, went our seperate ways and she got married.
I believed we could still be friends, I wanted that desperately. it killed me not knowing what she was doing or who she was with, i found myself scouring the net for any signs of her. I missed everything about her. But in the end i was only torturing myself. I got into a new relationship and realised that my mourning of my ex-fiancee was also really destroying my new relationship. Luckily my new partner was understanding and supported me, but in the end I simply had to let go and admit that it was best if me and my ex werent friends. seeing each other even for normal conversations hurt more than i thought a conversation ever could. The only way to move on was to cut all ties.
Im glad to say after 3 years of tormenting myself im a happy well adjusted and married person now. My life is more vibrant than i ever thought it could be.
It might seem tough now but it will get better if you let it.

*hugs*

sammy

Comment on Feeling good by kat

kat — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 09:13:26 +0000

Congratulations on the new job! I hope it turns out well for you.
I’m glad you mentioned Bridget (was beginning to worry…) – take good care of her, she is a Star!
Also, it is the nature of life to be ’stuck in a situation that isn’t quite what you were looking for’. If Life were a fast-food joint, we would all have ordered something different than we have!
And you do know this, being a Taoist.
And stay cool, it will be ok. Kat

Comment on Complicated by stumblingtaoist

stumblingtaoist — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 03:15:25 +0000

Yeah, I know whining won’t change anything, and it is important to realize you are only getting a glimpse at my personality through what I write, and unfortunately at the moment it isn’t the good parts of me. I’m just writing down what I feel, I don’t know that I really have a good reason why. Maybe it helps me, maybe sometime in the future someone will identify with what I write and it’ll help them. Maybe it will just disappear in to the ether. I don’t know, right now I’m just writing and processing.

Comment on Complicated by Anne

Anne — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 00:31:00 +0000

You know, whining about everything won’t change a thing…

Good luck

Anne