Eleven years ago, the day that the Broncos won the Superbowl for the second time was the lowest point in my life. My car had broken down, I got evicted from my apartment (over a stereo alarm that went off while I wasn’t home). I was staying with my new girl friend, and had just [...]
Posts Tagged ‘breakup’
A New Low
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged breakup, divorce, new start, Poly, rebuilding, rock bottom on November 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Expectations
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged breakup, expectations, relationship on November 17, 2008 | 1 Comment »
More thoughts about expectations. I think that CC and I have been trying to get different things out of this relationship, and not communicating very well on what we were looking for. I was still holding on to the old relationship, but not really living up to my end of it. She was looking for [...]
Relationship ending ritual
Posted in D/s, tagged breakup, ending relationship, master, slave, uncollaring on November 16, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
A friend that I met with the other day suggested that CC and I do a relationship ending ritual, something like an uncollaring. I do think that is a good idea, we need to put that behind us. I also feel a lot of internal resistatance to it, which is probably even more of a [...]
Daddy the Deserter
Posted in Poly, tagged breakup, kids, M/S on November 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Last week one of the boys told a friends mom that they were happy to have daddy back, but were afraid that he was going to leave again. It looks like that fear is going to come true, but it’s not of my choosing.
Regardless of how we present this to the boys, what they are [...]
Reality
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged breakup, Poly on November 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Not doing so hot at the moment. I feel a bit like monday is an approaching train and here I am tied to the tracks and there is nothing I can do about it. I’ll be home on Monday. Late Monday, it’s a 12 hr ride which is twice as far as I’ve gone before. [...]
Conversations with a paintbrush 2
Posted in Poly, tagged breakup, Poly on October 8, 2008 | 1 Comment »
More painting and thinking today.
CC is reading Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands right now, and her biggest complaint is that it puts so much of the onus on wives to control the happiness in a relationship. That was my largest complaint as well, because I think men can take a lot more responsibility than [...]
The D word
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged breakup, Poly on October 6, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Well, I started doing some research on divorce yesterday. Kinda scared myself a lot. Read a lot about men getting screwed in divorced becase “they never thought thier wife would do that” That’s kinda where I am at, I don’t think that CC would do anything hostile, but then I didn’t think she would cast [...]
Rollercoaster
Posted in Poly, tagged breakup, Poly on October 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
(gentle reader, you really should read these in order, so skip to the one prior to this if you haven’t read it already before continuing)
I suspect I’m going to be on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for a while. I was able to remain calm while CC was telling me she no longer wants [...]
Oh the Irony
Posted in Poly, tagged breakup, Poly on October 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
So, with significant help from Bridget, I think I have finally gotten where I need to be, where I could focus on wanting CC to be happy, regardless of whether I was hurt or offended at the time, if I could focus on her feeling good, then at some point that should reciprocate, and we [...]
