CC is the only person I can think of that I’ve ever been truly jealous over. Why is that? The first time I can remember feeling jealousy was when we stayed at the condo with K&L. I remember hearing her have an orgasm. She has always been difficult to get to that point, and even [...]
Posts Tagged ‘Poly’
Why jealousy?
Posted in Poly, tagged jealousy, Poly on November 23, 2008 | 1 Comment »
A New Low
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged breakup, divorce, new start, Poly, rebuilding, rock bottom on November 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Eleven years ago, the day that the Broncos won the Superbowl for the second time was the lowest point in my life. My car had broken down, I got evicted from my apartment (over a stereo alarm that went off while I wasn’t home). I was staying with my new girl friend, and had just [...]
Reality
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged breakup, Poly on November 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Not doing so hot at the moment. I feel a bit like monday is an approaching train and here I am tied to the tracks and there is nothing I can do about it. I’ll be home on Monday. Late Monday, it’s a 12 hr ride which is twice as far as I’ve gone before. [...]
Space and selfishness
Posted in Poly, tagged Poly, selfish, space on October 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Is CC actually selfish? Maybe that isn’t the best word. I’m not sure what is though. She devotes an amazing about of time to the family, to taking care of all of us and to managing and organizing. In the past she has devoted a lot to me. So being [...]
Labels, love, and protocol
Posted in D/s, Poly, ramblings, tagged D/s, labels, Poly on October 8, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I’ve always said that I hate labels, but that isn’t an entirely accurate statement. I hate arguments about labels. Get a group of poly or D/s people together, and ask what is the difference between poly and swinging, or sub and slave, and you’ll get a lively discussion, and in the end, even if you’ve [...]
Conversations with a paintbrush 2
Posted in Poly, tagged breakup, Poly on October 8, 2008 | 1 Comment »
More painting and thinking today.
CC is reading Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands right now, and her biggest complaint is that it puts so much of the onus on wives to control the happiness in a relationship. That was my largest complaint as well, because I think men can take a lot more responsibility than [...]
The D word
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged breakup, Poly on October 6, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Well, I started doing some research on divorce yesterday. Kinda scared myself a lot. Read a lot about men getting screwed in divorced becase “they never thought thier wife would do that” That’s kinda where I am at, I don’t think that CC would do anything hostile, but then I didn’t think she would cast [...]
Rollercoaster
Posted in Poly, tagged breakup, Poly on October 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
(gentle reader, you really should read these in order, so skip to the one prior to this if you haven’t read it already before continuing)
I suspect I’m going to be on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for a while. I was able to remain calm while CC was telling me she no longer wants [...]
Oh the Irony
Posted in Poly, tagged breakup, Poly on October 5, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
So, with significant help from Bridget, I think I have finally gotten where I need to be, where I could focus on wanting CC to be happy, regardless of whether I was hurt or offended at the time, if I could focus on her feeling good, then at some point that should reciprocate, and we [...]
Good day
Posted in Poly, tagged passive, Poly on October 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Funny how up and down I am lately. After yesterday being such a crappy day, today was very good. CC and I had a good conversation today on the phone, nothing important, but we laughed, and talked for a while, it was nice to just talk. We need more of that. I stated a while [...]
